was pretty much suicidal on friday, it scared me, fortunately i'm not now. however i seem to be on the verge of splitting up with my bf, and i dont know if thats what i want, but theres something not right between us cos i spend most of the time feeling like we should just be friends. but i've got chris on my back too, wanting to know everything, but also being too nice and too friendly, its kindof unnerving, i think theres an ulterior motive, which if i'm right, leaves me in an awakward situation if i become single. cos theres suspicion that he fancies me, now i dont exactly fancy him, but theres past & there are some feelings i've never gotten over & it'd be hard to stand up against them for what i know i should do. my day: lively church service, managed to hurt my right wrist, didnt manage to talk to caz talked to tom, sam and chris online, seem to have spent most of the afternoon talking to chris. have said i need to talk to tom tomorrow about whats been stressing me out, but now i'm nervous about that & not sure i'll be able to tell him when it comes to it have an exam tomorrow and attempted revision, its mainly application but i can concentrate anyway. too tired, too much on mind