can't believe that...and in some ways it doesnt seem like that. mainly i suppose cos i've been away at uni for the last 3months, then come back, spent a few days here before going to stay at Haze's for a couple of days, so not really been around for the usual christmas preperations! went to Haze's on wednesday and came back yesterday, it was really good to see her & i miss her lots (won't get to see her for another 3months).she's the best, always there for me, and been so much support over the year....she knows almost everything thats happened & she's the one person i talk to about anything & everything. even just curling up on the sofa with her is the nicest thing...just to be with her after the months apart. she knows when i need a hug, she prays for me, she listens to my problems no matter how rediculous, she makes me laugh & smile...and when i'm out in the world on my own in uni she checks up on me each day. its always hard leaving her behind and getting the train back, just to survive the journey without bursting into floods of tears. slightly harder this time cos she's got no credit to text me so i've no been able to have any conversation or contact with her since yesterday :( plus knowing that when i'm at uni i cant go & see her cos its so long & expensive to get from there to hers. one thing bugging me about the trip, was that nay, haze's sister made a comment about perhaps we're lesbians...i'm sure she made it last time i was there too, but haze kinda reacted strangely to the things said, she didnt quite laugh it off in the way expected. i mean i know sometimes when you're really close to a person you can wonder whether its sexual...but at the end of the day you should be able to be close without it being anything more than friends...and not let any occasional feelings ruin that friendship. people often don't understand why two girls can be such close friends, so affectionate with each other without it being more than friends...but i'm sure nay was just joking about...maybe a little jealousy of the closeness me & haze have..i dont know. i mean i've emailed haze and in it i brought up the question about it, despite that i've had no reply even tho she's been online (while i have, & not spoken to me either :s ) dont like this, makes me even more anxious. ah i'm sure it'll all work out right in the end...after all God's planned it all perfectly & i can only trust him that it'll be fine & the friendship is great.