k i finally turned my phone on after getting a call on my house phone asking if my mobile was broked & its been a distraction since texting charlie, its been quirte a good conversation. me:In reply to her text,the no she wanted, & somethin bout not having my phone on, but dont ask why cos its hard to explain. charlie: are you ok? me: Mmm i suppose so, i'm just fed up with stuff & it duznt matter 2 u & i dont wanna get u worried about me or nething cos i'll be ok in the end charlie: U worry me more wen u say stuff like that. U dont hav 2 tell me if u dont wanna but i'm sure i can help if u did and if its bothering u then it matters 2 me me: well dont worry. i just felt unsociable & i'm getting really frustrated with myself & god that i cant get over chris when i shud be & ur all frends with him but its not really working with us 2 charlie: things will be ok. i'm only mates with him cos we're form prefects 2getha, if u want i will not talk 2 him. As long as it makes u feel better i'll do nething 4 u 2 help. me: no i dont mind u being friends wit him, i just wish it were easier 4 me & him 2 b friends but he duznt seem 2 wnt 2 talk 2 me nemore, not even hi, so much 4 bein friends charlie: Men r tossers, hun. if he dont wanna be mates with u then its his loss and he obv dont realise wot he's missing by not bein ur mate. Cheer up. i still luv u! charlie: are u ok now? please cheer up. its not good 4 u 2 b unhappy cos who else will b mad and nutty with me???? (:)$= me: i dunno, i go up & down like a yoyo. and i'm not the sort 2 not be friends with ppl, especially after bein so close 2 them. rollseyes* is Han not nutty enough, lol, wots that thing?! charlie: wot thing? yea Han is nutty enough & she's great but she ain't u is she? me: this thing, (:)$= lol. Nope Han aint me, but...n/m(cudnt think wot i was gonna say) charlie: Thats my random little man thing Leon put on my fone & i think its dead cool. Remember ur the most important mate i have & ur the only 1 who knows me propa. U may not be as loopy as Han-who is? And u may be messed about chris but ur amy-my best mate & ur cleva enough 2 get over it and u hav me 2 help u thru it. me: i dont think how clever i am has got nething 2 do with whether i can get over chris or not, its a matter of whether god wants & allows me 2 which at the mo, he duznt seem 2 be doin properly. She's sweet with the whole loyal friendship, but no one can do anything about me getting over chris except me & god, no one can change my feelings & sometimes i think she thinks too much of me for the,in reality, worthless person i am.(grr why does this thing overwrite??is there anyway of changing it not to???) [oooo prettyful header :)]