I don't know why i even bother going to GB anymore, its been like 4weeks since i've properly spoken to caroline & cos parents give me lifts home i dont have to go with her, but at GB she makes no effort to talk to me, tonight she was even ignoring me, preffering to talk to becky over me, altho she'll still nag at me, i'm unimportant, what difference would it make me not turning up?? ok so maybe erin & grace would miss me, and jane would. Tom hates me, thats why he's totally stopped talking to me now, cos Stacy told him that i'd only gone out with him to use him to get back at chris, and he believes her, its not true at all, and i'm still crying at night & my heart is still breaking cos i miss him & need him & he's not there. How much of a bitch & stupid idiot & worthless being must i be to have lost 2 of my closest friends in the space of two or three weeks?! and i dont know what i can do about any of it, except try not to drown in it. Gave chris an invitation to my party, through stacy, but he doesnt know if he can go & said he'd talk to me later, which he hasnt yet. we did manage to book megabowl in the end so thats going ahead, i can't get drunk tho cos i've got to sort out pizza hut, plus with the way things are at the mo i'd only get even more depressed