yeah just got back from prizegiving *yawn*, it was scary too cos i had to go up the front on the stage & get my certificates & shake a man's hand. I ended up with fingernail marks in my hand by the end cos chris was sat in the row in front & i kept lookin at him & i thought maybe the selfinflicted pain would stop me looking at him & thinking about him, but it didn't really work. I hate not being able to get over him, & cos we were involved it means we can't talk properly anymore & my friends are mates with him now which makes it harder, even becky is mates with him, so why can't i be?!? And why for fucks sake can't i get over him, i don't like being in this suffering whenever i see him or think about him, i want to move on & forget it, but unlike other lads i've fancied, i still think he's fit when i look at him, and i guess his nice personnality doesn't help me alot either!