I'm a bit messed up at the moment, i don't know whats going on in my head, or how i'm feeling. You ever experienced it, when nothing seems wrong but nothing seems right, yet your head doesn't know how the rest of you is feeling? Its really weird and horrible, especially cos i like to talk to people about things, but how can you tell someone how you're feeling if you don't understand yourself?!? I don't know what the cause of this is, i think its a combination of things; lack of sleep, a certain boy, one of my best friends ignoring me & being out of order to me with my sister, and my church being broken into several times in the last week. I feel that theres only one friend/person i can talk to; partly cos only 2 people know about the boy situation (& thats 2 too many as i promised him i wouldn't tell anyone) and the other person who knows is the best friend who was being out of order to me, so i'm annoyed with her & not talking to her until she realises that what she said hurt me. The thing is, the friend that i can talk to isn't like other friends; she is definatly one i do not take for granted cos we have had so many ups and downs in the last year, but she has been there for me so much. But i wouldn't just call her up to chat like other friends, because she isn't the same age as me, she's an adult and several years older; the only reason the age makes a difference, is that she's out at work and has many other commitments. She's great though cos she makes me laugh; listens to me; and gives me advice, i don't know where i would be without her! Yeah i know i haven't used any names, i'm keeping them confidential, until i come up with some code names, just incase any of them come across this. That best friend still hasn't bothered to contact me, but i will have to be around her tonight, hopefully it won't go too badly, and hopefully there won't be any more bad news when i get up to the church!