I soo want it to be tommorow, again I was happy for I had my love. and Now he has made a diary... its nothing personalized.. I dont know why he hasnt thought so.. maybe he will just leave it as it is.. but anywho... His screen name for his diary is nightdragon and already, first entry he left alot about me.. well.. parsae.. more about me than anything else he has written.. made me feel really important.... and you know what really sucks?.. Im talking to Chris, and the damn internet disconnects.. I try my hardest to revive the damn computer.. and to find he has signed off.. it makes me really sad.. because I dont know what he is feeling.. and I dont know if he knew it was an accident or not.. (usually its because I get disconnected.. so I think its a routine now)... but yeah... I hate myself!.. Chris told me not to.. I had so many times I could of held his hand.. and I just...couldnt do it... I practically wanted to cry because of this... and I feel I am moving too fast in the relationship.. although he tells me he doesnt mind.... I hope he doesnt.. because.. Holding Hands.. its not that far.. it just shows your relationship to the people who are visible to see.... There's a rumor about me making out with him in school... chances of that happening.. is very slim... I would so love to do so.. but Chris told me I would have to be the one to make the move... and that so puts me in the spot light of not wanting to be imbarrassed.... err... But I love him alot anywayz... he knows Im so shy.. and this is to just make me more comfortable about doing things.. I even got Imbarrassed when he saw my hand that said "I Love Chris"... Tell me thats not Pathetic!.... oh well.. I skipped some of my class to go see him during his lunch... I plan to do that more often if possible... but.. for one thing.. I know for a fact he is my life.... I have to go,.. need to email Chris apologizing for the disconnection.... Love You All!.. Mostly You Chris!