Its four in the morning, I couldnt sleep at all and Ive been up since around two. its all because of what happened with Chris and I. Im going to tell you the story because I feel, that it needs to be put out. and I think it brought us alot closer. although farther away. What happened:.. I was having one of those depressioned phases I normally get, but attempt to avoid. but this one got too strong and I needed time alone. So I hid in the back of the house in the dark to think. Chris walked back and asked me what was wrong. I didnt want to lie and say nothing, I just didnt want him to get worried over nothing. an so he walked out of the hall and came back and slipped my ring back on my finger and his reply was "here Is this what you wanted?"... and he damn well knew that it wasnt, I dont know how it started but one day, the ring that I gave him, and the one I have ment somewhat of a marriage. and that it wouldnt ever break....but yeah.. he gave it back to me, and I knew exactly what it ment... and ran off to the bathroom and cried. sitting ontop of the door so no one could intrude, and he tried walking in... and I was sitting i the way.. and I attempted to get up and move but the door closed before I could. so I got up and opened the door and looked for him.. and found him on his mother's bed crying... Ive only seen him cry once before, and he really has to be sad to cry. but I didnt want him to... and I went over there and tried to make him feel better...constantly telling him I loved him, because its the truth. Till finally he started speaking back to me, and he was saying he wanted the relationship to be put on pause, but he was too afraid to allow that for he didnt want me to do anything stupid. for I am a depressant. and he just, wanted me to be happy. I told him that either choice he made, would never change how much I love him, and I would be right there beside him one hundred percent of the way, even if I hated his choice. we didnt come to a conclution yet and finally left his mothers bedroom, and he took my hand and led me to behind the house where he finally came to the same conclution he was wanting, to post pone our relationship until he finally felt better, on the inside and out, and I agree'd. If that was what he wanted, I wouldnt change how I felt about him... Then later, while Chris and his mom was looking for their cat, snowball, I was sitting there with their other cat, sam, Singing to myself the song "everytime by Britney spears"... chris has been wanting me to burn that to cd for him so badly.... but yeah... I was singing it.. and chris all of a sudden pulls my arm, takes my ring, and puts his ring in its place... and the last full sentence he said to me was "we'll work things out together." I want him happy, and Im hoping I can help, because the other night on the phone he told me, he had scar's running all through his heart from where people tore it appart... and I replied, I want to help heal those scar's, and his reply was "your already doing it." *points up*.. Now tell me that that doesnt qualify for an "awwe"! I promised myself I wouldnt eat today because I feel I am getting fat, I dont care what other people say, I just... want to be happy about my own appearance also. so yeah... No eating for me! Im actually making conversation with one of my ex's from a long time back named Kris, Wow!... I sure do have alot of Chris/Kris relationships...... but yeah... he was in a car accident and I havent heard from him since... finally I get to talk to him again. Im going to go before I pass out from typing so damn fast.. Talk Later! Bye bye