they didnt have a bleh, so I put blah. Anyway. today was okay I guess.. I woke up. Late. Because I passed back out after Lexi called and my alarm going off three times. Then there was this text message I had gotten that started going off around seven fourty. and I started spazzing and hurrying and getting dressed. and finally I got up the courage to ask Tom to drive me to school. People have been hugging me today saying happy birthday, That is I have to tell them its my birthday anyway. For the first time in history I hugged matt, that was. awkward. but Its my birthday, so I did. erm, theres nothing going on today. Literally. Its no diffrent day. I dont have presents so I cant say "OMG MY BIRTHDAY" and I cant be depressed.. because really Im not. Im just sort of... bleh. as I said before.I cant even believe Im now seventeen. Im almost an adult.. I still feel thirteen. Well.. scratch that, actually for once, I do feel my age. Its just. awkward.. cause most my friends are fourteen..and Im almost legal.. Later Im going to matts house after school. which will be cool because jeremy said I could stay out as late as I want, since it was my birthday and all. so Ima do that, Matt says he has an extra pair of clothing for me. which is great. so I could probably maybe sort of get to spend the night. I want to hang out with a group of friends. I want kevin to be there. But it wont happen. so I guess I'll let that Idea slide. Ive gotta go back to class, I told Carucha that I'd only take five minutes in the library. I'll Update later tonight. ------------------------------ two hours until my day is over. It wasnt even that great. alot of people hugged me.. wondered why the hell I didnt tell them sooner so they could give me a gift. and nothing seemed diffrent. No one got me a gift. Thank fucking god. thats exactly what I wanted. but my day has sucked.. not once did dominic say happy birthday to me.. its not like he doesnt know its my birthday.. its just.. he doesnt even care.. I literally feel like bawling. I should be happy. Im 365 days away from living on my own, getting the hell away from everything, becoming a grown up. yet He ruined it for me. Kevins coming down next week. I was excited about that.. now I cant even grin because of dominic.. fuck...I hate my ife. I seriously do. -Matti. -Matti