I havent really done anything lately. Nik Gets Upset and doesnt want to see me anymore if I ever got the chance to go to sourthern florida and meet him. No guys have been liking me. Im getting that really sharp pain in my chest again. everytime I think of a guy who "used to".. or thought they used to Like me. Im so tired of being alone.. I really want someone. And I Truely Know I am Relationship Dependant. I was dared to put Half Nude photo's of me On my VF and DS profiles. If you want to see them Here are the links VF Profile DS Profile I guess I'll add a few poems I wrote.. Im bored. Ten Slicings I slice once, my breath Deepens. Slicing twice, the Razor Pains Seeping. My reasons are mine, and mine alone. My reasons for cutting are all my own. I slice a third time, as beginning to cry. Perhaps cutting a fourth will help me die. Four and five my cuts begin. Deeper in my skin. Pulling emotions from within. I cut to six, as it starts to itch, burn and twitch, I cannot fix. Seven I bled. Emotional pain finally leaving my head. I want to forget, i need to Penentrate. So Another Slash, I Counted. Eight. I pressed down hard, my hand began to shake. I dragged once more and started my mistake. I look down, Dizzy. My body feeling numb. My blood streaming everywhere. What have I Done? I pressed my wrist. Attempting to stay alive. I winced hard. As darkness Enveloped my eyes. I cried knowing then... I never even made it to ten. Cut Cry Live die I want to cut, I want to cry. I want to live, but wish to die. All I get is Ridecuel when no one gets how I feel. I wish for the better. I know whats right. but you do what you want, Just push me aside. I'll live alone. Untouched, Unloved. To Know that you, Just had me shoved. Shoved to a corner, Shoved to a wall. You pushed me away. and let me fall I love you, You know, listen to me Believe what i say. Understand what I see. I just want to cut, I just want to cry. I Just want to live. But wish to die. But all I get is Your Ridecuel. When You dont get how this must feel. Just Lightly I want him, to hold from behind. Caressing his stomache, and kissing his neck. Aching to bite down. Just lightly. To Feel Him gasp. And Relax fully in my arms. To own him and lay with him. And kiss him deeply. Lips parting. Tongue touching.. Just lightly. To Run my Fingers through his hair. And he to look at me. To Tickle me and play with me. To Torchure me and then sexually Hurt me. Just lightly.. I want him.. I need him. Drag your name, In my skin. To Promise you my love again Free my heart, Dry my eyes Its one or the other, not both at a time. I refuse to be hurt, and end up crying It wont happen again I wont let it happen again. Just leave me alone. Or Hurt me so... (c)Matt Lightner