126

by malewitch0
Matti, Look theres is too mcuh shit going on! this begining to become total bushit! its really pissing me off, and this is where i draw the line!.....i have heard that there has been shit talk about me and some other guy on the phone with other people and im getting tired of it all you are trying to do is get a whole bunch of shit started with other people! and you are alway depressed i CAN NOT be with some one who is depressed 24-7, i just cant fuckin do it! i was never in any way attracted to you for your looks i thought i was attracted to your personality but ever day that i get to know you more and more it dramatically changes because you dont act like you did the first night i meet you, so i guess i was wrong! So i guess this mean its over, but just know i dont want us to not talk, i still want to talk to you......you could be a really good friend to me but just not a boyfriend.......... Sincerely, Eric

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*cries Silently*

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April 5, I was going to put a new entry. But The last one I did *points up*.. Was just put up last night around midnight.. or later. I didnt get much sleep.. Cried till Two in the morning.. I have people seeking his revengence.. but I just want them to leave him alone.. He complained about drama.. well.. thats adding to it. I told everyone it was too good to be true.. He even said he wanted to be with me forever.. to the point that he was willing for Unprotected sex... I just want to be honestly loved.. Like I said before.. the "Crying in your bathroom, when he comes to hold you.. kiss you, Care about you.. and try to make things better" Kind of love... Why do I have to be so fucking depressive. I Lose everyone that way.. By cutting, Or crying.. or somthing. Apparently no ones right for me.. no one wants someone like me.. "Ugly" by the Exies, is my newest Favorite song.. Guess why. My head still hurts from crying.. I still ache from it.. Jordan and Nicole are glad he dumped me... They didnt want us together after all this shit started up.. but.. They dont know how heart broken I really am.. I dont think they care.. *sighs*.. I went to the last fifteen minutes of class.. It sucked. cause I was wanting to cry again. So I ignored the class. and read "Piercing the darkness". I want to go back to sleep...mom wont let me.. I want to just portrude to my bed and just lay there.. blankly.. asking myself why I put myself so Vulnerable to every guy who gives those Fake three words. -Matti

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Prozac Thoughts: I took it this morning at eight: fifteen- Eight: Thirty. Stomache began to act weird and make noises. but I guess that could of just been me. Im still depressed. so I know it hasnt Kicked in, if its able to on the first time. But I still have a full day to go. (Later tonight) Nicole said I acted "Happy".. I dont know if it was from the Prozac or what. I just Know I didnt want her depressed because of her ex. and I was extremely bored..
Read 16 comments
Fck Eric.. Thats a bit harsh.. What a fuckin dick. Matti can do way beta than u ne ways!
GRR u stupid meanie!! ugh!! if sumone is depressed24/7 u gotta fucking help them to NOT be not fucking dump them ..
JEn
[Anonymous]
pft THATS my puppy u hurt !! and i cant STAND haters like u .. u NEVER deserved him so go shrivel up and DIE thanks .. JEN
[Anonymous]
that's cold. Besides no one can be depressed all the time. I've been fighting depression since I was 13, but I'm okay sometimes. I used to cut, then I quit..I still do occasionally, but I've taken up smiking..it relaxes me
smoking....I type fast and really don't pay attention to myself..
I only do it occasionally...it calms me. THe last time I got depressed i cut my whole lower body and took more pills than I should have. *laughs* and my mom didn't notice. I hide so much from her, and she has no clue. Here I've been complaining about not having a date for prom (which is also my b-day) and you just got dumped in the worst way. look up though there are other guys out there and they'd be lucky to have you
smile.
Hey dude u got lucky some of us out in this world arent even fortunate enough to even have a bf or gf. Hey at least u had one i wish i could say that. And dude u got lots of people who care about u. So no matter how bad it gets, remember i still have it worse.
[Anonymous]
Hey Matti, it's Randi. Don't worry about him, he's just an ass. There's a guy out there for you, trust me. Just wait for him, he'll come.

~Randi
[Anonymous]
i dont even know what to say. this is making me cry. i cant' beleive he said those things. it makes me want to be alone and be on the same page with you. i dont like being even a little bit happy when your like this. you are a great person, and you are very cute. which is probly one of the only reasons i went out with you, not that looks are more important or anything, i liked your personality a lot too, but you know what im saying. it's an attem
attempt to make you feel better, but i know nothing like that will work. im like one of the last people to comment on this but that doesnt matter. someone out there is waiting to find you and your only 16, your not going to find true love now. your life is far from even half way over. none of this is your fault, he's just some self absorbed jackhole who thinks he is better than you, which isnt true at all. you deserve so much better.
love you
omfg i am so sorry matti, eventually youll find the right guy, dont worry... and your friends stil like you for who u are dont forget that:)
im sowwi. you dont really need anyone like that. and you deserve better. your really awesome person and anyone who cannot see that dont deserve you
oh, and cassie and nicole can be bitches they can kiss my ass for all i really care
that was the greatest comment ever. haha. feel free to stop by my diary anytime... and read the hillbilly's newest two comments... they are really funny... they are anonymous.
[Anonymous]
Hang in there Matti...