and so I want to die.. who fucking cares.. Last night, I woke up crying and begging to die.. I still feel this way.. Have for the longest time.. and if you've been upkeeping with my diary you'd know perfectly well... I just want to fucking die.. get away from here.. and so I met a guy a school. and guess what?.. he has a girlfriend. but dont all the guys have girlfriends?.. dont all the guys I Fucking Like have a goddamn Girlfriend?... Its unfair.. Colin was flirting with Tyler, Josh was Hugging up on his girlfriend, and this guy ( dont even remember his first name *sighs*) Was Making out with his.. I wanted to take somthing sharp and just jab it in me.. I Fucking hate this.. I just want to die... I Keep Crying.. Alot.. More than Usual, I walk out of the house and I feel the tears coming, and I have to bite my lip to the point of penetration so I dont.. when Im alone I explode.. and just sob.. uncontrollably.. everytime.. every fucking time.. ............ So i have all A's.. Im happy my grades are so awesome.. but I still feel horrible.. and Chuck's class keeps pissing me off, its confusing, and Im going to talk about it with him on monday, if he cant help me, I swear I'll beat him senseless.. I swear it.. ---------- Im limiting my talking.. I usually go up to other people and hug them, Im going to make them come to me... I'll just go sit alone, away from everyone.. and if Anyone comes up to me, I'll look really upset, because of Course I am.. and try not to talk to them. Perhaps the more Upset I look the more they'll want to leave me alone.. Ima go die.. Write more tomorrow -Matti