So basically I haven't written in the longest time, and all. but yeah I know I should write in it now. So yeah, basically Me and Michael have gotten so much closer, I really look to him when I'm in trouble, well I want to, I really haven't but I want to, I'm too afraid to since you know he wouldn't even want to like me cause of my distance. and that's lame and all. Speaking of distance, I met a boy today. at the mall, we'd planned it for a few days, His name is Jordan. He brought his friend Sara with her, and I brought matt and we all hung out and I began to really like Jordan, after seven hours of hanging out at the mall. It was ten before we left, and we had to walk the hour home, matt and I did. And I really missed Jordan already. and I really wanna like him and all but he's gonna move back to arkansas at the end of the month, since he's visiting his mother for the summer. and it's upsetting cause all the boys I like will end up not being there for me in the end. I feel like shit right now because of it and really don't wanna talk about it. I want a boy.. I really want a fucking boy that'll be here, and not leave me, and stay with me forever. and it's just not fucking happening.. whatever... I'll write tomorrow. We're suppose to see each other again, all four of us. -matti