Ive spent a whole weekend away from everyone, staying at Sylvia's House Helped me get better, except when I laid down in the bed.. everytime, I would get the sharp pain of missing Eric.. We still arent even broken up, and he still has no clue that I know he's in love with someone else. I talked to his best friend, Kayla, She told me He Does love me.. and that she's trying to get him Over "Justin".. and to Just be with me. He agree'd to her that "It wasnt fair to me".. So perhaps he loves me enough to not hurt me, like he doesnt know that he has. and Just. stay with me. Ive borrowed a pair of sylvia's boots and one of her shirts, she let me keep and old pair of shoes That I plan to Make all "Matti-fied" .. Sylvia's the greatest. I owe her so much. I dont really want to go to bed, Knowing Im going to bed alone.. I want someone to be there, holding me.. =(... I dont know why Im being so Submissive lately. Usually I like to be the one Kissing and Hugging, and holding.. but right now, I want it done to me.. Being Proven that Im loved. I ended up getting Jordan(next door Neighbor).. into MHRC(the mental Hospital).. I feel extremely Horrible I was crying.. and she was over here, because of what I found out about Eric.. and she Wouldnt go home, Cause she's grounded and isnt allowed to be over.. and I kept yelling at her to go home..but she ignored me, and made me go walk with her, around the trailer park. We left it, and walked to lamplighter(the next door trailer park)... The Parking lot infront of it, Collected alot of water from the rain we've been getting, and we played in it, trying to make me feel better.. finally we went home around Eleven Twelve..and her mom yelled at her... So she went to cut.. I Went and layed down in the tub, when there was a bang on the door, and she Was crying and said "Im getting Bakeracted"..and yeah.. It made me feel worse.. Andy walked by, and he stayed and tried to make me feel better, while I watched Jordan get into the car with her mother, and head off.... He stayed for Fifteen minutes, saying I could get someone better. If Eric didnt love me.. then hugged me, danced stupidly a little, trying to get me to laugh, then went home.. I dont know why. but I guess its important to him.. (everyone knows He's Indenial bisexual)... and yeah.. I went and laid back down in the tub and cried.. Then the weekend came where I left here to get rid of feelings and hang out with Sylvia. We went to The Flea Market, where her mother was selling stuff, and we bought a few things, I bought a pair of Pleather Pants, Perfectly my size (Unbelievably)..and a few books, One was "My Diary at Rose Red".. if you've seen the Movie "Rose red" you would be interested in this book, I still want the Rose Red book. And then a book about vampires, which reminds me, Im reading one right now. Its good. (goes to the van to get the books and some more stuff) Kk, Well.. Ive gotten my Drawing book back from interlachen, I was Missing It emmenseley(sp). But Yeah, Ive run out of things to say for now.. Except Im Still very Depressed.. Thank you Charles and Raven, for the comments.. but Im fine.. I promise.. (ps. Raven.. I can play all of "Hello".. On the Evanescence Book... Sylvia taught me)