I woke up and couldnt get back to sleep, dont know why, cause Usually Im tired as hell and Can sleep whenever I pleased. but now here I am.. two and a half hours after I went to bed. As you can read from the Entry Title.. I dont want to be tied down.. I dont want to be with anyone, I dont want to be hurt again, I dont want the Drama, I dont want to cry.. I dont want my heart broken.. And now more than ever, People are pushing me to be with others, Finally I think Ive gotten Stevie to stop, he's an awesome person. but yeah.. Then there's Chris Burlingham, He found out where I lived today (im okay with that).. and we hung out, and he flirt.. ALOT... but.. he's like.. my first boyfriend I ever had, and it didnt last that long. Then Adam's trying to fix me up with this guy named Jackson, and this one guy named Jeremy who i dont know is supposively to IM me one day. Because Ive never met him.. But I have his picture on my Dresser.. because they gave it to Jordan to give to me, because they wanted to meet me. I dont know *sighs*.. its complicated as fuck now.. Ive always wanted a relationship.. I guess its the medication talking.. I mean, I still want to have the Kissing, and the Love, and Being happy..(er?).. I just dont like what happened through all my relationships.. Sex, and a horrible dramatic break up.. Ive gone Abstanant, cause I didnt want to deal with that anymore, but that just isnt cutting it. *sighs*.. I'll just tell them, and hopefully they'll understand.. and if they cant get me to love them.. then Im going to be single for a while. Or at least try. .. On Other notes. Mom's pissing me the fuck off to no extent. I was suppose to do the dishes last night, or I would get my Computer taken away.. Ha.. Yeah fucking Right. Im not doing them at One in the morning... I'll do them tomorrow, and if the bitch has a problem with that, I have Chris Burlinghams Family I can run to, cause apparently they love me already, although its the first time Ive met them. .. Err..they're pot heads.. they wont care. I'll just have to deal with Chris.. and his flirting.. I can grow to get used to it.. but.. err... I dont like him that way. I guess I'll clean my room tomorrow. I dont know.. Its so Complicated. Mom literally thought I cut with glass.. FUCK YEAH RIGHT!.. thats wrong.. i dont want a small splinter of glass getting stuck in me.. Just because Im a lazy fuck and havent Picked up a broken Picture frame in over two weeks, doesnt mean I use it for my enjoyment... I prefer Breaking Shavers, and using the small razor from them.. so much better, and cleaner. Im waiting for my stomache to heal up so I can Do Cross Hatching against myself. You know, when your playing Tic Tac Toe?.. You have to Make that Little Cross box thing. Yeah, well. That.. Repeatedly Across my Chest and stomache, all over.. In just one big Design. Yep.. Im crazy. I know this. But dont give a fuck. I'll give pictures.. Ive said fuck alot...hmm...funny. I have to get my skirts back from Jordan.. or was it Nicole that took it?.. I dont know.. One has my skirt, the other has my fishnet Hoodie.. They're always taking my stuff.. grr. Its four.. dale leaves in fourty five minutes for work.. I dont think he planned on going this week, because he just got back from the airport two days ago. from Washington. So. No Pay Check this week Most likely. Meaning. No money, meaning. No Food for Matti.. Why?.. because Apparently Vegitarian Food is a New Invention that Is Very Pricey... yeah..whatever. Im fine without food. Always am. -Matti