What the fuck is up with friends. seriously. Megan was so happy to be here. and I was so happy for her to come. yet. its fucked up. How Megan is so short tempered to me alot. and we fight more then you think. we just always seem to make up soon afterwards. then matt had to have a goddamn attitude most of the weekend about. and then Lexi threw somthing at me telling me to shut up. I give up on friends seriously. I want to be alone. Fully. Fucking Alone. Its no fair. its not right. and I hate it. I have no one. nothing. they dont even know how I feel. they dont even care. Im even putting this damn entry under private so they wont. and I dont do that often.. I dunno..I give the fuck up.. ... I dunno if I even like kevin. Now that I know Im making a private entry Ima say that. I dont even know. I have Curt who likes me, and he's okay but I really am not interested in him, but getting the attention. It kind of makes me happy. And then theres brandon. I finally told him How I felt about him and it made him feel like shit and I just want to take it back. and I just want to lock everything up and die. And Ugh.. I hate it so fucking much. I dunno.. when kevin gets here maybe I'll have a whole diffrent perspective. maybe not.. but Im not a cheater.. I dont cheat on people. I dont plan to. I dont want to. ever. -Matti