Welp.. Finally turned this back into a Public Diary.. Ive been avoiding people. Not because I hate them or anything, Just because I Dont want to deal with drama.. Mostly the girls who live down the street from me. Oh. Guess what. We're Being Evicted..again.. Twice in One Year. Isnt that Fan-fucking-tastic?.. Yep.. We Found a new place though, Much closer to Interlachen. which Im fine with, Im only staying till the end of summer.. Fromt he comments On blakes Page. He's Found someone else. an eighteen year old.. Yeah.. I knew it would happen. Thats why I told myself the whole time to not get emotionally Involved. I was tired of Relationships before him anyway. Im Laying Alone for a Long while.. I told alot of people I didnt want to be with anyone for a long as while somtime before blake, so I know i can do it again. this time.. Permanent?.. Most likely. You know what I hate?..girls who flirt with me and call Me Hot and shit like that..when they havent read my profile.. Fucking ticks me off.. To no end.. Ugh, I cant fucking wait to get out of Here.. and to live with jeremy.. then I can Just Ignore all my feelings. when Im around Jeremy, Tom and Jerrid. I dont know.. I just Seem So.. Life Less.. I Make sarcastic Jokes, and I Talk.. I just..Never smile.. Never Have any Emotion.. Which makes me feel good.. To Know that I have nothing to worry about..but..In real life.. Im thinking about all the depressive shit.. In all my life. while Im with them..at all times. so it drains ALL my happiness.. I would rather not show emotion, and cry and cut in secret. then Have to Smile.. and Lie to myself. Every fucking day. Well. Today (Yesterday now..since its three in the morning).. Was Lori's birthday. she's awesome.. Happy B-day Lori... Next week, The Sixteenth, is Chris's Birthday. she keeps telling me she's getting me somthing..Even though its her birthday.. She's weird. Well.. Im at megans, been hanging out of the house lately, at megan's..and Sylvia's. Having fun.. Anything to get the fuck away from the Lacking AC, and Smell of Dog shit Cooking on the carpet In jacksonville (its Literally that bad).. I Like it better anywhere but home..Seriously.. Megans Passed out.. I feel Like crying.. No reason why.. Like usual.. I just do.. It always seems to happen, but I never do, Instead.. I cut.. I guess I could cut.. I have my razor In My Eyeshadow Container.. I keep it with me. Everywhere.. Im serious.. Ive Even Cut In a walmart Bathroom.. Pathetic.. I know.. Well..Yeah..Not Much has been happening in my life.... The Other day, I broke down into tears, and fucked my body up again like it used to be.. because I felt there was Nothing in my life, Nothing to Live for.. Nothing at all.. So I Reasurred myself there was.. by Dragging the blade against my Legs, Stomache. Hips....Everything and Anything Possible that wasnt Visible To the Naked Eye at first Glance. Oh..You wanna know whats great?..the fact that I have to Pack..Ha!..Oh Joy.. Again.. Im To the Point Im Just taking the shit I want, and leaving the rest for the Other fuckers to take out.. but mom says They charge you for it..They cant if your homeless..Fuck asses. It becomes Government Property. and then I dont own it anymore, so I shouldnt have to worry bout it.. I got everything I need, In Four Book bags. and thats ALL i Need.. Im exhausted, but I cant sleep, Dunno why, I guess In thirty or so, Ima lay down and try to pass out.. If Megan And I Are Lucky, we get to go see the Horses. She Misses her horse "Nami"..that horse Is awesome... yep yep.. Anyway, Im cutting it off, Megans starting to move.. Night.