Have you ever just felt like life doesnt exist anymore?.. heh, Yeah. I havent talked to anyone in day's, Excluding my Internet friends. they are always there. All I can think about is Devin. And im beginning to think Im Overly Obsessed. what if he doesnt like me, Thats His Choice to make, No One's Opinion about "I Bet He likes you"... can Prove it will be the truth. Its His choice to make. and all I have been doing is thinking about him. By Far More than Anyone else. He's Even been Haunting my dreams. No Other Guy Ive Liked has Literally been In Every Night of my dreams. And its scaring me..Am I setting myself up for heart break?.. Am I Going to loose again?.. Ive been so Frightened Ive asked Those Little Psychic balls you call them?..8 Ball things?..Yeah... First i joked and asked if Mom would ever get anyone and its reply was "At this point? Doubt it"..Mom goes "ooo..cold"...so I whispered "am I going to be with devin?"..and its reply was "Most likely"..then I asked if I would see him this week and it goes "yes"...if I dont see him... Then I dunno. I guess the Ball Was a Lie?.. Why the fuck am I putting so Much effort into an Inadamet Object Seriously! I mean, It didnt even have any meaning to me, I just saw it and picked it up in a Store. I didnt even keep the damn thing. I guess.. I just wanted to feel pleased. Im so Horrible.. I Feel Like crying. I Feel Like dying. I dont even do much. Im Surprised Im even Typing this Diary Entry Right now. *sighs*..its ten:Fourty. Hopefully I can stay up all night and make it to Interlachen to go to the Movies with Dani, to watch "a Series of Unfortunate Events"..which Ive been dying to see... And Perhaps Get Devin to come along..... I feel Like typing more. Spilling out alot of content. but I dont know what i have to Place. I found out my boyfriend..Well.. boyfriends, Since One was pretty Much Begging me to get another one...But yeah, My One Boyfriend, isnt even a boy, He's really a girl. My Other boyfriend, I gave up on since all the shit Ive been told about him, Ive had a girl come up to me saying he was cheating on her for me, and he finally left her, That means he was Cheating on me also... He didnt even tell me that he had a girlfriend. he didnt tell me he was bi. But I dont even think I will be associating much with him anymore. So for the first time in a long time. Im Relationship-less..although Pretty Much all my relationships were on the Internet, I dont have anyone. No one to hold me. Nothing. Word of Advice... There is No Such thing as love. Just Lust and Sex That is All!. We are Just animals, we've Just addapted to The Idiocy called Religions, and Now we stick to one person for the rest of our life..and Fuck them, instead of Fucking Anonomous people. We Are Just Tools.... We dont even use all of Our Brain, We have Seventy Percent of Our Brain we could be using,but we dont... we are too lazy. Dying isnt an end. Its a Beginning. Your An Idiot for a Religion, You Only Believe in your religions to feel better about where your going when you die... When you die. Your Nothing. There is No Heaven, No Hell. Nothing. So Live your life while you have it.. Cause when you die. theres Nothing. Nothing at all......nothing.