yeaaaa.... i was at my mom's for a while again... britt came to spend the nihgt fer a nihgt and then she went home and i ended up staying... yea my mom is gay me and dan decided to be jus "friends"...idk maybe he's right... but it doesn't feel right, idk how to explain it... but w/e i couldn't stop thinkin bout himlast night wen i looked up at the firewokrs...idk, but it was wierd... at 12 i still wasn't asleep so i went for a walk, next thing i knew i was in dan's yard, jus stareing at his window, his light was off, so i figured he was either sleeping or not home, so i turned around and went across the sreet and sat on their swing fer like 15-20 mins... i had a really bad dream last nite... it was like me and dan went out and we were together fer like 1 yer and half, he told me that he would always love me, and had never felt this way bout any1 B4...then i went home andmy mom told me how i was a mistake, and i was never ment to happen, and she never wanted me... soi went back to dan's and i found him naked in his bed w/ another girl... i went to my dads, he wasn't home... i filled up my bathtub all the way... slit both my wrists from top to bottom... layed in the tub took a deep breath underwater, and then i woke up... it really kinda sucks wen u wake up with tears in your eyes :( then this morning i went to the mall with my fam... god my mom bitches at me fer everything.. i was like mom.. r u gunna take me home aftre this?... and she was like stephanie shut your mouth..i was like duh!!... yer "freind" john was there so maybe that was it... uhhh!!! she acts so different around other ppl!!!! well... i gess i'm gg try to sleep now.... i wish my sweetest dream would come true, and u kno wut? that dream is about ~you~