hey ppl, well i dont have a secret admirer. jake, bj, jose, n alphonzo made it up. i got screwed over by my so called friends. my sis tells me that i shudnt speak to them nemore but i dont think i cud go without talkin to bj n jose. jake yes i cud n i will. alphonzo i dont really talk to neways i just kno him cuz of he rides my bus n is jake's friend. but jake said that he helped jose who thought of this in the first place, to get back at me for breakin up with him. which is really stupid bc i went out with him last august or something like that. but i feel stupid n gullable for belivin it. n it made me realize that it cudnt happen bc no body like me nemore. guys used to like me all the time. i used to have a list of the guys that liked me now its like no one cares bout me nemore. n the ppl on my bus, that is another thing that doenst do very well for my self confidence. i kno that they dont like me. this one girl was talkin bout me this morning n i knu she was. n she said that no one liked me n i kno that its probly tru. n i asked travis when we got off the bus does everyone on the bus just hate me n he was like i dont im ur friend n im thinkin yea but u were just throwin paper balls at me. then i said i didnt have any friends. which i have a few that wudnt be that cruel to me. or at least i dont think so. i guess i have to be more careful now of who i trust. i just cant belive they did that. i mean sure i am the evil one n everyone knows it but hey, i never play pranks n hurt ppls feelings. i kno have major slices on my arms bc of this. monday night i think it was i was so upset bc of this whole thing n that no one likes me n i will be alone forever. n i have felt really depressed lately bc it seems like no body is on my side cept ashley n eddie, i mean they seem to be my only tru friends. n the friends that i do have that are nice to me dont understand me bc they arent even like me. kady is nice to everyone so she doenst count. n davy is just too happy all the time n she doenst even kno what depressed means. ok on a happier note, i got someone else's necklace. i got it from kyle. he is the only one i kno that likes me. probly cuz he feels sorry for me. i made a new shirt last night. i took this one i already had, it was blue with a monkey n some other stuffs on it, n then i took a plain black shirt that i used for material n added some of it to the bottom, then some more on the sleeves. then i took the sleeves from this other shirt i had that tie up n i put them on the shirt. it was cool bc the tie up sleeves were black too. well i guess that all for the complaining. im out