hmm...im drinking some green tea....becuase the handy way is basically empty..and i couldnt stop to get coffee... today was pretty good though. it rained. YAY...it started to pour about ten minutes before sixth period let out. it was so perfect. i went out of class and stood on the grass in the rain..chef looked at me funny and i could tell he wanted to ask what the hell was i doing...but i just shrugged and he asked me if i was ok. i said yeah..and he said that he might refer me to a counselor...i dont get it. why is it so wierd that...well i was the ONLY person in the rain.....that was until max came up and stood there with me...and then when i found mike and made him walk to my car..and stand there in the parking lot for about fifteen minutes in the rain with ....chealsea... until we were both soaked and cold. but it was fine with me. i probably should be doing my math homework right now....oh but first i must say what happened in the library today... well after lunch, there was a class in there, that had devin and josh. and stacey came in there to see josh...it was her lunch..and then jake came in ..and so did daryl. so all of us were sitting at one of the tables..and first i felt really bad for devin, he was talking to stacey some and he just looked really sad. josh and daryl were playing chess...and josh had asked me before that if mike and i were dating..i said yes. and he said we made a cute couple..and i said...for some reason..'i guess so'. and then he got all...curious..why i said it. and i told him...that mike was sort of second choice..and third if you wanted to be technical. so he asked me who the other two were..and i said that one was jesse and that was pointelss because i felt like he was too busy with mike's little sister...(i cannot say that enough)...and then the other.i wouldnt tell him. and i think you can guess why....becasue it was him. but i didnt want him knowing that. i know that he had an idea of who i was talking about...i mean..why else wouldnt i tell him...if it was about someone else then i wouldnt care...but i didnt want to tell him..why say one and not the other...oh she must be talking about me. then me and daryl sat on the couch when they left...and talked about it..and we're talking about it again..sort of...and its quite confusing. hence the emotion...and and and..i found out why zack asshole brehnam never wanted to date me last year. the fucker...found out what happened ...between me...and someone else...last summer...and said that he didnt want to associate with any girl who would do that. well you know what..fuck him. i dont care...anymore. bastards i have nothing more to say..at least i dont think. and im not going to say..i dont know what to do...becuase im not going to do anything. everything is fine..and...whatever.