well, i've figured it out. josh only wants me becuase he cant have me..that's the way he is and i should have remembered that. he wants rikki, because she has a boyfriend now. stacey doenst want him back so of course he wants her too. but of course i still care.... milk is good i feel like crying i almost cut last night i might do it anyways i feel sick, i ate too much. i hate food. i'm so sick of eating. i keep getting hungry but i look at food and it makes me want to throw up. but yet, i still eat it sometimes. i love mike and he loves me and its going to work dammit