this weekend has been fun. matt came at about ten or eleven friday night. we talked online to people, it was great. then we went to bed at 2 in the morning. saturday we got up and went yard selling at a flea market in ...uh somewhere...we stayed for about three hours. matt got two books, and some leather(ish) pants. hehe...i got three books and this cool dress. when we were going to leave, mom grabbed a few things and left the rest of our table to this lady, who traded that for the dress. i kept looking at it when we went by and she made a deal with us to trade something on the table...she wanted five dollars for it but stupid me, i forgot my money at home. i got it anyways so its all good. then we came home and matt learned hello by evanescence on the piano. then we just kinda goofed around, i did some laundry, and we played monopoly for some three hours or so. then i watched this thing on VH1 about Greenday and he went to read (he doenst like them that much) and then i went to bed, too. now he's still asleep. my mom is asleep, and im sitting here listening to the rasmus in my cd player, talking to stevie (my deeply depressed life long friend from the all too familiar parts of south georgia) and trying not to make much noise. it's been fun. i didnt tell jesse that matt was coming over this weekend. jesse is the jealous type. i wasnt sure what he would think...but if he asks me what i did this weekend, i'm going to tell him and if he doenst like it he can just get over it. i wont stop hanging out with matt for anyone. i miss him so much though. this is the shortest weekend we've had since jesse and i started dating and i miss him more now than i ever did. ugh its bad. i saw some pictures of matt's new bf eric. he's hot. looks a lot like josh. i keep seeing josh, and hearing him too. dammit why can't i seem to let him go? i was watching that greenday thing last night and i sware for a moment billy joe's voice sounded just like his. it's like one minute i miss my boyfriend so much and then the next i'm thinking about josh. this can't be good. but i dont know how to stop it, or what it means. i'm not supposed to be having these problems, this was the relationship that was going to work without any problems. blah. maybe it will go away after a while. i guess that's all i can do, wait for it to go away. yes, that's all i can do.