well dennis is a tropical storm again. no more hurricane. it's still pretty bad. i guess eddie is just out of power. i'm sure he's fine. yeah..he's ok. he's fine...it hasnt even gotten to him yet. and it will probably lessen by then too. he'll be back online in a few days. i found his shirt today. the one i wore one day because i was cold. i kept it. i dont think he even remembered. in fact i know he doesnt. but i had forgotten..i put it away. i was looking for something in my room and i happened upon it. so i wore it...when i went in town. i'm still wearing it. i feel torn between but i have no reason to. only my feelings are being forced to take a side. i dont even know if i'll have to make any decision. and i wont..not for a while. maybe i'll be spared the stress of picking one or the other. probably. i sort of miss jesse. like i said before..it was almost like he had just disappeared. the funny thing was i didnt even miss him. well those last days yeah...i wanted to say goodbye of course...but then later i almost did a few times..but reminded myself that i really didnt and there was no need to be depressed over it. but now..now that i've been reminded how close he actually is...i can't help but think. or maybe it's just becuase ...oh i dont know. i just dont know. i dont even know how i feel really. it's like i dont feel anything. it's just...empty thoughts. tomorrow i guess i'll be putting in some more applications. meh...maybe i'll get davy to come with me...keep me company. so i wont be so bored. yeah..that'd be good. i've done nothing but eat today. that tells me something's wrong. and i almost fell asleep in the middle of the day...while watching a movie...another sign something is wrong with me. eh i think i'm over analizing all this. it's just...fuck.