i have a headache...but i want to write so i'll continue despite... today was ...half ok. first i had to work with mom...took f o r e v e r. three hours. i was in pain. churches are quite big. it seems to get bigger everytime we go. i got to play my immortal on a very nice piano though. it was great. that was the best part. then we went home. picked up davy. we were going to go swimming but mom and i were very tired and decided not to go. it would have taken much effor to load things up and go all the way down there....so we just picked up davy and put up our POOL. yes we have a pool now. it's only half full because it takes FOREVER to fill up. it was on for three hours and only got half way.... it's three and a half feet deep, i think. that works for me. it's better than those cheap 2 foot ones we used to get every summer. im very tired. and i miss jesse incredibly. i got very mad today because davy told me that mrs mills...mrs mills now...had a talk with davy's mom about her boyfriend. it is none of mrs mill's damn business who davy dates...and certainly not her business to speak to her mother about it. she had no effin right to do that and it makes me mad that she is so nosey. i miss jesse. it's rediculous...plus. davy's parents dont like bryan becuase they think he wants to sleep with her...which he does....but i dont know him that well and im not sure if he is exactly trustworthy of wanting more than that..like you know..the nice relationship part. he could be lying to her. who knows. but davy's mum told me mum that she would get rid of bryan. i dont mean she is gonna kill him...even though she might want to...but maybe break them up somehow. which i think is dumb. if they are worried about her giving in to him they should stop letting them spend all their time together. that's what my mom does...even tho im not a virgin and davy is..that's not the point. she has more of a chance to not be one..than i have of continueing to not be one...if that made any sense....im not sure. i miss jesse. but anyways, im bored now. and very tired. i'll probably go to bed after a short period of time after i finish writting this. it's nine fifteen now. i'll probly be lost of the ability to hold my eyes open by ten thirty. i ate a lot of junk today. and yesterday. i eat too much on weekends. it's bad. it's raining. and the wind is very strong. it's awesome. i love rainy stormy weather. it's so great. i want some cherries. i love jesse. *if you could only see the way she loves me, maybe you would understand, why i feel this way about our love, and what i must do, if you could only see the way her eyes can be, when she says...when she says she loves me* this song rocks. i'm glad i heard it today and then found it to listen to it repeatedly. now i will probably find something depressing to watch on tv and try not to fall asleep til a bit later. i will leave you now, because i need to get my kicks, and this aint cuttin it...