well i guess today was alright. jesse wasnt there for some reason. i guess he will be there tomorrow. i feel so fat this week. i think i gained back those four pounds just over this past weekend. jackhole! im not really happy, i've been having good days...i guess. i haven't really been depressed. i guess that's good. nothing really happened today. it was pretty normal. except i kept scratching myself with chicken wire in 4th, and got to play with a staple gun....while trying to get nsync out of my head.....*shutters* sickning. jose has problems. and i thought i was wierd.... i like smile empty soul. they are cool. i like weezer too, they rock. well i guess that's about it. trying not to eat...even tho i had nachoes when i got home...bleh. i cant expect to not eat when my mother buys a bunch of junk food. she is having some kind of surgery next week and she will be off of work so she "stocked up" becuase she wont be able to go out and buy stuff...she could have stocked up on stuff other than chocolate pudding and nachoes...*sighs* i cant decide how im feeling. still cant say i love jesse yet. i guess i have to give it more time. it's only been 17 days. started planning for classes next year. scary thought. cant believe 11th grade is already so close. tis four months away but still. its gettin closer...and so is 12th. i dont wanna grow up....:( maybe it's not so good, on the other side.