last night, mike wasnt there. at the game. but josh was, and, it was wierd. well, me miriah, jesse, and josh were all in the big hugging thing for a while and i was on josh and i put my head on him and he put his head on mine, and then we were playing chess on my phone, and i was sitting beside him on the grass by the fence, but then he moved to see the game so i was sitting behind him. whenever he passed the phone to me..i dont know he was like...purposly trying to touch me. and then out of no where he kissed me on the head. and then i laid my head on his back for a few seconds and he said i probably shouldnt have done that, and i said i wont tell if you dont..which was dumb i know. but i sure wasnt expecting that. and then kassie reigal starting flirting with him..while i was sitting beside him later on..and i got really mad and got up..then he came over to me and said you just got really jealous didnt you..and i was like yes and he said he could tell. then later when we got back home...me and miriah got online and i think josh thought he was talking to her and he said that he wanted to go out with me but i was with mike. i'm the jealous type, i cant help it. maybe it was just because mike wasnt there and i wasnt thinking straight, i dont know. i dont know what to do i cant believe he's doing this now. if he would have done this two weeks ago he wouldnt be having a problem..and i told him that. but i wouldnt be able to live with myself if i hurt mike like that. what am i supposed to do i know i still love josh. i've known that the whole time but i didnt think he'd want me back. he practically told me that. ...the day before stacey dumped him of course. but still. it's going to drive me insane if josh gets a girlfriend. completely insane, and i wont be able to stand it. maybe he will, i think it'd be best if he did..then maybe i wouldnt be thinking..hey he's single..i have a chance. this is bad. very bad.