didnt go to the movies. maybe tomorrow. supposed to go spend the night with davy tomorrow and go to the fair with her on monday. i want to see jesse. matt's love life is progressing, or so we hope. everyone seems to be ok. spent all day washing clothes. it took literally the whole entire day. but its not like i had anything else to do. after we had dinner, i said i wanted some chocolate cake, so my mom decided to take me to walmart and i got us a chocolate cake and some milk. just what i need....a cake. i keep thinking im going to screw this thing up with jesse. but he is a great guy, and i know that especially after seeing how hard it was for him to break up with amanda, and he didnt even like her that much. so i keep telling myself it will all be ok. but there's still that little part that remembers the past. i havent told my mom. i dont think i should. the last two times i told her i had a boyfriend, they coincidently dumped me the next day. besides, she might not like it that he is 18. so i'll just keep my mouth shut for a while. i dont like telling her things anyways. she's asked me the other day if i wanted a therapist, and i said yes but im not sure if she took me seriously or not. so the other day i asked her about it again and she said well ok we'll get you one. so maybe one day it will happen, usually when she says ok we'll do it, it doenst happen until a long time after. she always seems to do that. if it wont benifit her it's not that important. im having a severe case of writer's block. i havent written anything in over a month, even when i sit down and try. i've thought of things but it's always when im miles away from paper and a pen, and of course i can't ever remember it. i suppose i'm lacking inspiration. i guess i'll just have to keep looking for it. i should be enjoying this weekend, the next one will be spent (all four days) in georgia with my lovely family responsible for the other half of my genetics. the ones of which i could live without, big boobs, big hips, ugly legs, and bad tempers. you can imagine how much fun the holidays are. not that i'm there for all of them. mostly just christmas, but this year i guess it'll be easter, too. until tomorrow then, i guess.