mike called me today. he asked me what was going on between me and josh. rick told him. i said i dont know. many times. i didnt know what to tell him, i had no idea what to say. he might not even be at school tuesday. he asked me if i would leave him for josh. i said i didnt want to...and then i didnt know...i feel so horrible. how could i do this to him. why is this happening. i could have said no...i have to leave...i just came to say bye..but i stayed...because i didnt want to leave. i knew what i was doing, and i knew it would turn out bad but i did it anyways. i wasnt going to kiss him. i wouldnt have done it even if stacey hadnt come over. maybe i should have. how can i be with josh in front of mike. why do i have to choose...why are they both available at the same damn time. why does mike have to care so much. someone please help me or shoot me.