well bugger it all. miriah is supposed to leave....grr. and i think i'll be busy until she does. well ok lets start with this week, my dad came to pick me up sunday morning and we went to the beach where my aunt, uncle, and little four year old cousin where staying (her birthday was yesterday....ah kids...) and went back that night to georgia, then...did nothing...hung out with my dad for a bit. then went back to the beach on uhh..tuesday. then stayed there until friday sometime after we had cake and ice cream. wooo that child makes me soo worn out. man i dont want kids. well i do....but not for a long long time. then i came home this morning. and mi mum is out fishing with...who....her ex husband. oh yes...i called her last night and he answered the phone....surprise!...bugger. wooo i have green tea!! finally. i've been wanting some for weeks now...and it's finally here....weee. ok anyways, i just checked my mail and daryl emailed me. i really needed that. i miss him. and miriah, and mike and mike and ....mmm*grumblegroan*mm jesse. yes i miss him. there hasnt been a day yet that i havnet thought about him to the point where it makes me want to cry. why didnt he come? why didnt he say goodbye to me? why couldnt i tell that wednesday that he was still mad at me? why did he pretend to be ok? so many questions, to be forever left unanswered. just...like...josh. why does this keep happening to me? ha..i'll tell you why...because i am incapable of maintaining a healthy relationship for more than a week. the first week is so easy because im happy to be with someone...then after that's over..everything starts to fall apart...problems come up, he wants to go places, i dont like going places...i dont even have enough self confidence to go on a date....how pathetic am i. i wanna see matt. really bad. it's been way too long. but he doenst know bc i dont get to talk to him and he never reads this so i could say he's a big monkey butt licker and he would never know....of course he isnt...he is the most awesomest friend i have. and we can SHARE CLOTHES...how cool is that. sighs....so cool. i wanna see my sister too. man i am getting so sick of being at home all the time getting thrown between parents and wishing that i could hang out with my friends... mike called me while i was gone..mom left me a note today that said "mike called...'whoever' very sweet"....haha it made me laugh. ahhh good times...well, i guess that's all that happened. if only one side of my family just didnt care....i know that sounds horrible...but hey...if it was just my mom's side i had to worry about things would be soo much easier...of course then i wouldnt have a lot of the things i have now....ugh, but i love all the ppl on my dad's side ya know i do...thats not what im saying. it's just such a hassle to go two and a half hours back and forth over and over on the same roads and take the same trip soo many times..and go there and be so bored. blah. this is depressing me. im going to stop.