well its been almost a month since i made any entry. well alot has happened. josh broke up with me for some ho, then he lies to me about it. tells me they arent together, lies about that. leads me on, makes me think he still loves me, turns out he doesnt and he never did. he just liked me. and now he has another gf who i didntkno about of course. and he is just using me for a backup plan incase one of his other gfs gets tired of him. fucking jack ass is what he is. but no i had to be so in love with him that i was too blind to see all this. which everyone else cud see but i cudnt. and i didnt want to bc i thought josh was different and that i cud acutally trust him. ha what a joke. i cant trust any guy except for jake and eddie. and that is about it. for a while it was like i hate him but i still love him, but now i just cant take it anymore. i dont love him and im gettin over him asap. i wish i had never known him. sure i loved him, but hate is deeper than love. and now i really hate him. even tho i never thought i wud be able to say it.