well, today was alright. i went with mike to his second period instead of mine...we played guitar...well mike and his friends did but he made me play once. i hate playing in front of people...that i dont know anyways, it always makes me nervous. i guess jesse will be at school tomorrow. our last week together, how sad. i feel like i'll be ok though. i think he will too. well i cant remember anything that really happened today. it was kinda boring. jose started cutting. he understands....apparently. unlike mike who did it actually without realizing it...eh...complicated thing. but he was all depressed today. always because of cathy. i wish she would leave him alone. she thinks they can just say ok its over and go on about everything like its nothing. well she's wrong. he liked her a lot and she just dropped him like it was nothing and then complains that she's the only one hurting and it's his fault. i honestly wish she would just leave him alone. i hate middle schoolers....particularly the ones who invade my bus and make it an even more miserable ride that it already is. we have a sub for the rest of the year and he lets them do whatever they want. they had a paper ball fight...oh it might sound like fun but it wasnt. i didnt throw shit and certain people....*cough*russel*cough*...thought it would be funny to hit me and me only. i told him to stop and he wouldnt. it was making me very very very angry. so i sat in the seat he was in when he got up and his stuff was there and i held it out the window and i said if you throw a paper ball at me again i'll throw your fucking shit out the bus window. so he said he wouldnt...then once i gave him back his stuff he did it again. well i had to fight to get his stuff so i did and i opened it and started throwing out his work. it must have been important work becuase he started to get angry himself. like i care! he said i was a fucking bitch and i just smiled...hehe. i felt a bit better after that. he moved to the front and didnt throw anything else at me. if i wasnt afraid of the fat little gafer eating me or something i would have hit him. i was going to grab his balls but his pants were down too low and i couldnt really find them.... eew...i vibrating razor....creepy. jose was being as ass today. i wish he wouldnt hate me. i only try to help him and it worries me that he is so upset. but he wont talk to me and i think i'll just give up. if he wanted my help i guess he would ask me. right?....