i feel like i've done nothing but wait for things for along time now. it's like i just keep having to wait and wait..and sometimes what i'm waiting for never comes. meh i dont even know what i'm talking about. i feel sick, i feel lost, i feel anxious and lazy. i feel mostly confused. and impatient. from what i have no idea...but it's there. i feel like there's no point in living. then i feel like there's no reason to die. sometimes i just stare off at nothing for a long time until i realize that i'm not looking at anything. sometimes i wish someone would screw me over so i could think about something and not this blank aggrivation. i feel so alone but sometimes i dont want anyone around. it just never works the way i want it to. i stopped asking why a long time ago. and i dont know what else to say.