well. wasnt that interesting. no, it really wasnt. ok, tuesday, i didnt say a word about anything. wednesday i told daryl about my "problem" which helped a lot, he's a really great person to talk to, and i trust him which helps a lot, too. then he siad i should tell jesse, which i did, that day in sixth. he wasnt that much help. "i think it's an age thing." "i went throught something like that too." no these are not things you say when your girlfriend confesses that she has a problem cutting herself. he's a great guy though, and well, i felt kind of stupid after i told him because i felt like one of those people who attempt suicide just for attention or something. it bugged me a bit. i wasnt even going to say anything but daryl saw my arm when i was 'borrowing' his wrist band after forgetting my bracelets. anyways, things were all fine and dandy thursday, i had no problems. i'm getting very good at having some kind of extreme problem and then in less that 12 hours making it disappear. i usually just go through a depressive time for a bit then it's all over like nothing happened. weird in a way but that's how it goes. today was pretty good. played guitar with miguel, josh, mike and brandon in first. then went with jesse and kady to the talent show. ha what a rip off that was. the only reason i went was because daryl and kyle were playing...which rocked might i add...the rest was girls who think they can sing and guys who think they can rap. it sucked. except for brian murray's little video thingies. they were pretty cool. he won by the way. which was good, i think he should have won last year, but anways, daryl and kyle got semi finals, and played again. which was awesome as hell becase daryl breaks out in his solo and plays behind his head! behind his fucking head. how awesome is that? i'll tell you how awesome, pretty damn fucking awesome. it was boring, but at least i got to be glued to jesse for two hours. even though both of our asses were numb afterwards. then went almost straight to lunch to be with him again. fourth period was ok because we didnt do anything. fifth, nothing. and then sixth, we had a test, which was pretty easy but i am developing a deep hatred for essays. jesse likes good charlotte, actually he likes all punk i think. so far i havent heard him say he does not like anything that is punk. punk gets annoying. he loves blink 182, a band that is very cool, but i dont love. but we share the love for greenday which rocks. i guess im perfectly fine now. i had nicotine this morning before school which made me happy all day long. i havent been happy and talkative all day long in for ever. it was wonderful. and monday i get to do it all over again because brandon gave me another cigarette. i really apprecitate those comments, katrina. you're a great friend even though we aren't that close. i would have said something earlier but i havent been on my computer since monday. that rose was awesome and i will cherish it forever. wednesay was really wierd for me. i cried like three different times that day. i was being all oh i have a problem i need help i need to tell people. that's not like me and i didnt like that very much actually. i dont do things just to tell people about them, but well, i guess it's over and there's nothing i can do about it now. maybe i wont get depressed anymore. actually i probably will, it happens every few weeks or so. usually over nothing. i will try to be happy about things, and if i do get depressed i wont let it take control of me. i will have a good weekend. even though i wont be doing shit, it wont suck. i wont let it. i'll find something to do. you know what, i love him. jesse is the greatest guy i have ever dated and i love him. from now on i have to think of the good things i have, no matter how extremely hard that is to do sometimes, i will try my darndest. i am a good person. advertising causes me therapy.