you know how girls have this image of the guys they want...like the bad ass...or the really nice guy...stuff like that. well i have that image of the tough guy. the one who takes control and people are intimidated by. that's not mike, i'm sorry to say. yesterday, i dont know what it was..but we were playing pool and i didnt even want him to touch me..and i kept looking and rick and miriah and..not that i like rick or anything..but that's the type of guy i'd like to have. i mean..mike is the greatest..yes...but he's just not exactly what i want. sometimes i just feel like i dont love him anymore..and last night that's what it felt like. i cant explain it and i wish i could even remember what i was thinking last night..i started crying on the way home becuase i was thinking..omg...i dont. i just dont love him anymore. and i couldnt explain it and my mom wouldnt let my online so i didnt write it out or talk to anyone about it until today. i talked to daryl in first...and i did feel a bit different today..but there's still something there. and something is bothering him...but i dont know what it is..becuase he never tells me what's going on unless i pry it out of him. i guess i'll give it some time...since it's homecoming and all today... it would really suck to bring it up today. so i wont. but it will still be on my mind. and maybe i'll figure something out. i cant even tell how i feel anymore...there's just a big hole there and i wish i could understand it.