bored again. i was in the pool and decided to come in for some soup. i'd stop eating but my mom would notice and think i was sick. so i've decided to just eat really small portions, so maybe my stomach will shrink and i'll be able to get full off very little. a cup of soup. that was my lunch. now if i could just hold off until dinner. then i could eat the rest of the soup. and nothing else. i got some ice cream last night when my mom came home. she let me drive into interlachen at about midnight. ben and jerry's. cherry garcia. yummy. i tried to write last night. nothing good came out. just words and phrases that i couldnt make myself get into. school makes me feel that depressed no one loves me feeling. and i miss it. it was my only inspiration. on these days that go so slow. feel never ending. could this summer get any worse. bring it on.