he screwed up. and I actually called him out on it. I actually told him he was horrible and it wasn't fair that it wasn't ok to make me feel like that. he's selfish. and I tried so hard. so hard and what has come out of it? nothing good apparently. clearly we've made no progress. clearly we're back to year one... when nothing matters. and he doesn't care. hes so selfish and thoughtless and dumb. and he hasn't called. nothing. nothing today. nothing last night. I should have woken up with 100 voicemails this morning from him telling me how sorry he is. nothing... it's 5 of 5 oclock and still nothing. I have not cried today. not once. not even close. I went to erin's last night and cried a bunch. but not today. I'm actually okay today. I can't let myself give in. he needs to man up and take responsibility. he hasn't. and somehow I think he won't. happy: got my tickets to see lex... 2 weeks. I'm so excited. ugh I miss her. she wrote me the nicest message on my birthday.gooood I wish I was there.I wish I was away.