ahhh I am in such a foul mood. and I am so mad that I am. like anger. so I called Ben... you know just trying to be I don't know.. and he didn't answer.. fine, hes not home or hes sleeping, he'll call back. never did. he was home because I drove by when I was outtt anddd there was some strange car there. ahhh what the ufck. i cant even keep my eyes open at this point ergh. but I am so angry and annoyed and ahhhh its like, why do I let myself get this wwayy. and i feel like shit and I feel like all the Ben stuff is going to shit and I hate it. so much. and ahh everyone else. I am so tired. and ugh.