I don't know what or how I am. I don't know what I feel. I can't translate it. I'm happy. wow. happy. but I'm not. no, not at all. I'm stressed. and tired. very tired. I need my comfort zone back. we talked last night... and the night before.. monday he said something about house... last night I reminded him to watch the sox. we're really good friends. we are. but I'm in love. what is that? love. wow he said things that made me sad, things like sweet dreams, things like hope tomorrow goes well for you. what the fuck. I just don't know. I thinka bout it, and I am absolutely fine with not being with him, for some reason. but then, I still want to lay and talk to him, and be held, and laugh. and make him laugh. and bring him little things. I want him to want to be with me. this not feeling good enough shit is not okay. it's not fair. shouldn't I feel like someone would be lucky to date me? I don't know.