I can't get the other night out of my mind. I keep thinking about him, more than I ever have. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say.

I work tomorrow.. I'll see him tomorrow. I don't know where we stand.. I keep rethinking the texts.. and the conversation.. was he only able to talk because it was 2 am? and he had been drinking for hours?.. when he said.. yet it doesn't matter when you're drunk..

what doesn't matter? how angry he is?.. how he doesn't think he will be able to forgive me for this?

I'm trying to think of a relationship I have been in where it didn't start out with sex.. I can't imagine that is how most people begin relationships but ben... this one.. so from now on.. sex isn't an option. nooo.

How am I going to bounce back from this? I can't get it out of my mind.