this weekend is supposed to be 80... in Maine... in April. I plan on wearing my vacation for the duration. yep. bathing suit. I plan on getting tan too. I am ready for the beach, sooo ready. ready for warm. ready for this friggan twitch to go away. god is it annoying. I really really feel like going for a run. I really do. but I won't. I just showered a little while ago. I really should study too. I'm watching gilmore girls. It's horrible how much I love it. even though I've seen all of them a billion times. The later ones just make me happy. I see a really close similarity to them with my life. I mean I'm not quite as witty as either of them but... when lorelai and luke broke up... thats me. the way roarie loves logan. thats me. within reason. this afternoon I'm a little less anxious than I have been.. thats a good thing. makes me happy. Ben and I still haven't really... resolved things. we've spent the last two days together but we haven't fixed what needs fixing. does he really not understand? is he that friggan not smart?... I just. I told him what I needed from him. I literally told him exactly what I needed to hear.. and I still didn't get it. not once since sunday has he said anything. and while everything else is fine, I need him to talk about how he feels and reassure me. otherwise this isn't going to work. the getting along will last for a day or two and then go right back to sarcasm and snottyness. and that's not who I am.. or who I want to be. but that's how I act when I am hurt. last final tomorrow. thank god. then done. done done done. can't wait.