I'm scared to go to college. I'm scared to leave him. He's my wall how can I just leave. He's safe.. His house.. His life he's just safe.. My safety net. And I fell so hard this time He's being real and we almost even talk about how we feel and I am just so in love with how we are. I still get mad at dumb things and most of the time I tell myself that there's no point in being mad.. And honestly.. No matter what or who I'm with, its him I want to be sleeping with at the end of the night. I want him to hold me and press his nose to my shoulder.. No one else.. But I want him to text me during the day and say something to let me know he's thinking about me.. I want him to get me flowers for graduation .. Most importantly I want him to go. I want him to be there.I don't want to leave this or him.. Not after all this pain.. All the pain and frustration that lead to us being good for once. Is being real. Chris and Aaron are fighting for my love its cute.. I was in my bathing suit at the house the other night and Chris loved loved it.. He mentioned it a couple times its funny. I don't think Ben likes that I talk to them.. He knows Chris loves/wants me. Ha! Oh Ben. You kill me.