friday.. tuesday..thursday... as opposed to monday... week and a half later.. friday. ohhh ben. Mmm I was there friday, well, because I suck. that.. and me and neala may have been driving up alfred st. and he happend to drive by.. perpindicular to us. and saw me. and I was like fuck. soo he texted me. and I wanted him to come to the beach.. but he wouldn't and then he's like "come over after" and I did.. and argh I talked to him.. saturday.. or sunday.. and monday I tried to conn him in to coming to get ades in westbrook, but he said no. Then I figured I would stop trying.. altogether and just not talk to him. but around 9 hes like "naptime?" and I can't say no. despite my wanting to.. I can't. so I went over. and last night. we napped. andd ahhh fuck. fuck fuck fuck. I suck so bad. and I hate it. but I like sleeping next to him... its comforting. and never cold. ever. mmmm.