"I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if you never take it seriously, you never get hurt, you never get hurt, you always have fun" ..thats from the movie almost famous, and so true. hee fucked it up, he made it the way it is, he made it complicated. and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of not talking for days.. over a week at a time.. not seeing him. its dumb. it's dumb to care. and it's even more dumb to just wait around. sooo I'm donezo. straight up done. no more. and I really think I mean it this time.. unless he magically fixes it all.. which won't happen. and its difficult to realize that I have never been less interested in other people in my life. not one of them are the least bit tempting. so it makes me want to just deal with it, let it be what it is.. but thatss not me. I need another him.. how he was in the beginning, so attached that I don't need to worry.. I don't need to care, because he'll care enough. its terrible to think about but it's so true. I have no desire to be tied down. none. no desire to date and be like that, not with anyone.. but sadly, I find myself wanting it with him, sort of. so anyway, its done. he's a piece of shit. and I'm just too tired and angry and stressed to deal with it.