what do I do with my 3 months? Do I give up before we give it a chance?

or do I ride it out with you until you leave... and risk absolute devastation.

I told you tonight that I am concerned about january. I am concerned about you leaving me.. already? its been a couple weeks, how could I be worrying about something that is happening months from now? 3 months.. maybe more? What right do I have to be worried about something that far away... Korea is so far away. What am I supposed to do about you?

It's hard to let yourself fall head over heels like this... hard to allow this when it is clear how it is going to end.. yet I am so comfortable being with you and trying it out with you.. at least for now. I am not saying I want to spend the resti of my life with you or months or weeks.. but right now... I am beyond happy that we are spending day after day together.. night after night.

I'm not saying I am in love.. I am not saying I have grown this dependance over night? But what if I do! What if these silly butterflies and smiles are just a phase? I don't know how significant the difference with us is compared to past experiences but I know I'd like to find out.. I'd like to find out with you.