We talked a little more last night about going to Korea. I am so in love with the fact that we stay up until 3 just laying and talking..

I explained to him how I don't think it is fair for him to compare our situation to the other girls he's dated and left when he moved across the world. I told him I don't want to be compared to them because I want this to be different. I want whatever we decide to do when he leave, whether we stay together or we break up or whatever, I want things to magically be okay and for us to be okay with the situation. And I say this knowing that no matter what we decide it is going to hurt. I know I am not going to be happy if we break up, I am not going to be happy if we stay together based on my insecurities, and I'm certainly not going to be happy with going into this thinking that we will break up and magically get back together when he returns. Maybe "happy" isn't the right word, I am not going to be satisfied... or comfortable.. I feel like I am going to have this hole in my heart when he's gone, and I don't know what to do about it.

When I talked about him comparing me to his other girlfriends he assured me that he has never and would never compare me anyone. He said he guessed it was different because we spend every day with each other.. but that's not what I meant. I want this to be different for him, like it's different for me. I am by no means saying marriage or anything like that but honestly, i couldn't imagine finding any one like him.

He later told me that WE will get through it, one way or another but what does that even mean? We will go our separate ways and be sad for a while and that's it.

I don't think I could break up with him and after a year magically be together. I want to.. I would love to because I love him but I think that is a lot to ask for. So what do we do? I just want to be with him, physically and emotionally with him.