bennn. ahh. the ahhh . I don't know why I didn't want to go.. I really dont.. and when I was there I was okay.. grumpy but ahh.. I don't know but when we were on the couch it was nice. and he had his arm around my neck..and I was laying on his lapp.. it was sweet.. like cute sweet... and then like ahh I dont know but everything was soo good last night.. and rahhhh. I'm so tired of the constant flip flopping and all this crap.. one day i want him.. the next I dont.. yuck. hes cute... and and.. why was everything soo amazing last night.. other than the sex.. that was a little ridiculous.. but I didn't mind quite honestly... I probably would have dieddd if whatever didn't happen. ergh. I want him to text me saying good morning... like he used to.. I want to go over there and him rub my back a little.. and ahh last night would do... yummm. cameron.. what do i do with cameron.. : ca5ey17: why arent you in beddd Caambulance: because i want to burn the 3 30seconds to mars songs off their myspace ca5ey17: haha ohh Caambulance: well Caambulance: that was party the reason Caambulance: i wanted to talk to you some more hes a sweet heart. I'll crush him.. he'll shatter... a thousand times worse than brittany.. it will be horrible.. I know. I don't just think.. I know. because of ben... but in a way cameron's good for me... keep my mind off ben ish... but its not fair for him.. not at all. horrible. I need sleep. why didn't ben say good night? ergh. sometimes I wonder if he is like me.. and just refuses to im me for a while.. until he finally gives in.. I don't give in .. that'd be the only difference.. argh. work can do me....