how can he tell say the things he says and still not want to be with me. I don't get it. why text me and ask me what I'm up to tonight... unless he wants to see me.. I dont get it. it hurts so much. I dont want it to. I dont want him in the back of my mind anymore.. why lead me on like this. I know I set myself up.. but when I lay there I just want to be next to him. I dont need him to be toching me.. I dont need him to say anything.. just sleep there. because when he's sleeping there is no speaking, and where theres no speaking, he cant hurt me. why can't he tell me the reason why he can't do this. why do I hear it from rob, and he doesn't know that I know. does he care. or does he just want me. whyyy I cant even ahhh. it just hurts. its not so much that I want to just cry.. but there's so much of it. so much dull pain. I don't know how to get through this. I didn't like him that much. but now I feel I do. how could I let myself fall for him. I know I didn't expect it to last... maybe the summer.. but no matter when it ended, it would have been because of me. because i was done with him, with what we had. and I am anything but done and I don't know what to say. this is the first time I wouldn't be happy with just the physicalities. because I know in my mind I would want him to call me.. like he did.. and wake me up with a text. and not care for someone else. I can't change how he feels, and I can't ask him to. as much as I want to ahhh do I but I can't, its not my place. just the fact that there's someone else makes it so much worse. I dont know. I can't ahhh. I am so tired of it. and I wish he understood how I feel, I wish I could tell him and he'd give it a chance ahh. I just need to forget about it.. try to forget about it.