School pretty much overwhelmed me in the beginning. Actually, no, I was completely overwhelmed and honestly, a little nervous. I've most certainly outdone myself with the work load this year. Micro scared the crap out of me, and quite honestly I think it's going to kill me. three nights in a row of falling asleep with ben. three nights in a row of sleep.. undisturbed.. much needed sleep. If ben didn't exist, if he didn't know me like he does.. if we hadn't been how we are and existed in the manner that we do... jeff would be perfect. jeff is everything that ben isn't... a relations hip.. but he doesnt know me .. he hasn't experienced me.. at all. and it's true that I havent given the chance to know me like that, but it's because I am holding back and fuck fuck fuck. shit. ben. hesss literally my pillow.. because fuck I need him.