I am going to lay it out at some point, I am going to tell him how I feel.

I have a lot of moments where I am confident that we can do this, that we love each other enough to get through a year apart. But then there are the times where I wonder if we are just setting ourselves up for more hurt and a nasty break up.

I trust John fully and completely. I trust him as much as I can, but at the same time I've never been on the other end of him going out and partying (being wild crazy John.) I trust that he won't cheat on me, and I trust that he could never hurt me like that. What I have never been exposed to, what I've never had to deal with is him going out and partying, let alone on the other side of the world.

I want nothing more than to be together, I want nothing more than to wait for him. I feel like we don't have enough time, I feel like we haven't had enough time. He tells me that we have our whole lives together, and that this is just a small part of it.

I don't know how I am supposed to say good bye to him. I keep thinking about what it's going to be like the night before he leaves. He has to go early monday morning, his flight is at like 6 am so I would think he would be going home that night. I won't be able to sleep. I can't even imagine how I am going to let him physically walk out that door.